The Half-Way Point

Time is passing me by; the clock is ticking; the sands are passing through the hour glass.  Whichever way you slant it, the fact remains that I am going to be a college junior this fall. A college junior. I have attended my university for two years, years that have passed me by entirely too quickly, and which I would love to have back again. Some might be surprised and exclaim, “What! Go back and re-live your underclassmen years, with the boring liberal arts classes, and the semi-frightening professors?” And I would be forced to yell in return, “Heck yes!”

Two years into my college career means that I am two years closer to the real world, a frightening, terrifying, horrifying idea. It wouldn’t be so horrifying if I had any assurance that I would actually get a job upon graduation, or even, Heaven help me, I was getting married. I’m probably panicking for nothing; even though I have absolutely no prospects of the latter happening, I will, at least, be able to get a job upon graduating. But I have so many options, and I have no idea how I’ll narrow it down.

I’ve looked into law schools, pursuing my Master’s in English, taking a summer internship in London, and other possibilities. There are so many ways that my life could go after my college graduation; diverse though they are in actual content, they all go in the same direction: up. And quite honestly, I’m looking forward to the ascent.

Despite the fact that excitment is gradually overtaking fear over the next phase of my life, I’m still dreading beginning the search for the perfect job/graduate school. I skipped this feeling entirely when I was in high school, beginning the college application process. Although I applied to a plethora of schools, I never stressed over acceptances, simply because my parents had made it understood that I would be going to my current university, as it was close to home. Finding a job/graduate school is different because it’s a decision that I have to make entirely on my own. My mother cannot make the decision for me; and clearly, finding a job in an economic slump is not going to be as easy as gaining admittance to college (Yes, it was easy for me. I apologize if your college-admittance process was less than ideal).

But I think I’m ready. I think it’s time that I’m challenged, that I step up to the plate, that I actually pursue something in dead earnest. I’ve recently discovered that things that I do not want, I never get; I’ve learned that from a hasty Greek club application and interview last fall, and a half-hearted, half-careless interview for a temporary position this summer. Applying for the Cambridge semester abroad program was entirely different–I worked on the application with everything I had, chasing after professors for recommendations, writing a proposal for the paper I had wanted to write since the first time I read Jane Eyre, and running into the local pharmacy to have a moody, sarcastic passport picture taken. (Seriously, the picture is frightening.) 

While I do have another two years in college before I venture into the big, scary world, I know that when I graduate, I’ll be ready. Whether I attend law school, get my Master’s in English, or take a lowly internship at a publishing company, I know that I’ll belong there. Challenges should bring out the best in an individual, and I am firmly determined that I will rise to the occasion.

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