…then I’m Pip.
Estella is the one true love of Pip Pirrip, protagonist of Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations. He focuses his entire life upon her, strives to meet her constant demands, and wills himself to be worthy of her. For much of the novel, this dedication proves futile; Estella prefers to leave Pip dangling, refusing to marry him, but unwilling to let him go. (You’ll have to read the novel yourself to see their ultimate fate.)
I have dreamed for this semester my entire undergraduate career. To have the opportunity to focus solely upon British literature seemed like a dream come true. Or so I thought. Unfortunately, this world is far from perfect, and my semester is hardly reaching my great expectations (pun, sadly, intended).
I recently received feedback on a conference paper that absolutely turned my world upside down; I had polished and polished this paper, and in return, I was told it was hardly worth accepting. One of my British lit classes values only “class participation,” and for an introvert, this is absolutely painful. In another class, in which we focus upon the English discipline within a Christian perspective, I have developed an uncanny ability to make an absolute ass out of myself every class period. And–I received a significantly lower grade than I expected on an easy assignment in another class.
Of course, this semester is not as bleak as I’m making it out to be. In my other Brit lit class, I join the conversation, without looking like an absolute fool. I recently heard back from a graduate school concerning an interview. And, I have a possible job opportunity for after graduation, beginning in May. My life is hardly destitute of brightness.
And yet–I expected it to be so much more.
I am in good company with Pip. Indeed I am.
